Becoming a big sister, for one important hour a week

By Kate Jonuska – Pikes Peak Parent

Though we’ve become closer as we age, my big sister often seemed to be an evil influence in my life. She teased me, scared me and ignored me, each in turn. She once packed my mouth with dirt, and to apologize, helped me clean it out with MY toothbrush. (Still love you, though, sis!)

I always wanted a younger sibling when I was a kid, but I never imagined that perfect little sister would fall into my lap at the age of 28, when I was introduced to 10-year-old Chloe Mosier by Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Pikes Peak Region.

Chloe and I meet once a week in the morning before school as part of the organization’s school-based mentoring program. From the moment she gets in my car to the time we get to her elementary school, this supposedly shy girl talks my ear off: about the role she had in the holiday play, the seeds sprouting in science class or an upcoming fieldtrip to the Museum of Nature and Science, where she gets to sleep overnight IN THE MUSEUM. She’s sooooo excited.

From the beginning, Chloe and I had a lot in common. We both wear glasses. We love to read and do arts and crafts. She likes helping her mom make dinner; I like to cook.

But it doesn’t really matter what we had in common initially because what we’ve learned about one another along the way has been even better. For instance, because she comes from a military family, Chloe has attended several different schools, though she’s only in fourth grade. She misses her dad when he’s away from home on assignment or for training, which can be for months at a time. She’s very proud of the traveling she’s done, including to Hawaii several times, and she wants to be a zoologist when she grows up.

This little sister of mine opened up over the course of our morning meetings, where we discussed issues like self-esteem and safety, acted out skits, made “me boxes” from magazine clippings and talked about the upcoming challenges of the tween years — all guided by a BBBS representative.

A while back, we were making bracelets out of multicolored beads. Chloe put a gray one on the string for her brother, a green one for her dad and a heart for her mom. Then she picked up a yellow bead shaped like a butterfly.

“This one’s for me,” she told me. “Because I can be shy, but when you get to know me, I’m a social butterfly.” I smiled and put a different yellow butterfly on my bracelet, to represent her.

These wonderful thoughts and ideas of Chloe’s amuse and often surprise me. “What did you want to be when you grew up? What’s your favorite color? Have you ever read this book?” She bursts out with a new question from the backseat almost every time I drive to our meeting. “What do you like about writing for the paper?” she asked recently.

“Well, I guess it never gets old to see your name in the newspaper,” I replied, and we laughed.

It’s amazing how much you can get to know a kid in a scant hour a week, how the hours add up to a real relationship. Chloe has done a lot for me, like finally showing me what it is like to be a big sister instead of just a little one. She brings back great memories from my childhood as well as some of the awkward, painful teenage ones, which I hope she’ll be spared thanks to some of BBBS’s great program themes. And she’s reminded me how important it is to make time in a busy schedule to just hang out, have fun and talk.

So in return for what she’s given me, I’ll give my “little” the little I have: some time in the morning once a week, someone to listen to what’s going on at school and maybe some confidence she can take with her into the future.

Oh, and her name in the paper, just like her big sister. This one’s for you, Chloe!

CLICK HERE to see the PDF of this article, which published in the May 2008 Pikes Peak Parent magazine.